


Ferine

by minxiebutt



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abortion, Blood, F/M, Infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 13:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6080745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minxiebutt/pseuds/minxiebutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikasa, a new officer on the police force, has an affair with her married chief. For Rivamika Jam 4 on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ferine

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt from lizatonix on tumblr was so pure and innocent (new officer Mikasa + police chief Levi), but I'm trash and this is what came about.

::::::

She should not be sleeping with the chief. His lack of a present wedding band makes it easier for her conscience to swallow, and she's never actually seen his wife, so Officer Mikasa Ackerman can almost assume that there is no such woman. 

There are plenty narrow misses, though. 

In the fifteen minutes it takes her to collect paperwork from the basement, a basket of pastries has planted itself in the break room. Officer Braus is eagerly waving Mikasa over. She's just taken a bite of a cherry turnover when Braus spouts out, "Chief's wife just dropped them off-- isn't she an angel?!"

Mikasa politely nods, the turnover becoming ash in her mouth. Back at her desk, she spits it into the trash can discreetly, and leaves the pastry on a napkin on the far corner of her workspace. Chief Levi Ackerman pauses on his way past her, but doesn't speak on it. 

Later that night, when she's bouncing on his cock in the back of a parked patrol car, the taste of cherry haunts her, and Braus' words-- "Isn't she an angel?"-- ring between her ears. 

:::::

Mrs. Levi Ackerman is known for kind gestures. Anything she knows of the officers under her husband's command must come from his mouth, and he must be giving accurate descriptions. Braus, on her birthday, has an Edible Arrangement delivered. Arlert receives the missing letter for his encyclopedia collection on his one year anniversary in the precinct. Springer is given tickets to a comedy expo after his girlfriend breaks up with him. She hears often of her fellow officer's love for Mrs. Ackerman, but she shoves the bite from her mind. 

So, when Mikasa finds her birthday is approaching, she is wary. On the cursed day, she spends as much time out and away as possible, and luckily she avoids meeting the angel in the flesh. However, an ethereal cloud hangs in the air around her desk, flowing in waves off of a Valentine's Day themed assortment of goods. There's a handwritten note. She doesn't read it. 

The assortment makes it to her apartment, where it collects dust in the top of her pantry. 

Levi's wife will often bring him a hot meal, and it's a miracle that Mikasa's path is always skew to the woman. Slowly however, Mikasa finds that the scent of a home cooked meal turns her stomach, and she finds herself living on cold, bland foods. 

All good things come to an end. 

Mikasa has her nose so deep in this shit storm of paperwork that she can't even smell the goodness wafting closer and closer. She looks up and freezes. 

Her desk has a pretty clear view of the chief's office, and his blinds are always open. Levi is standing there, embracing a petite woman tightly, rubbing a hand over her very, very round belly. He's smiling at her and kissing her--disgustingly, pecking her lips every few words, the same way he does with her-- and Mikasa feels herself sway. Mrs. Ackerman brushes a hand through her sunset-shade hair, blinding Mikasa with the glint from an ungodly, enormous diamond. 

Abruptly, Mikasa rises and b-lines to the woman's bathroom, where she vomits until bile burns her nostrils. 

"I didn't know you were going to be a father," she says several days later, when they are accessing the same filing cabinet. 

"Tch, Ackerman, I'm already a father. This is the fifth one." 

She accidentally slams the drawer on his hand. 

Within a week, he arrives at work with a large box of cigars. There's a pastel pink ribbon around each one, and she rejects the one offered to her. She says it's because she doesn't smoke. 

That night, she hunts down their baby registry online-- Mrs. Ackerman's name is Petra, that angel-- and buys every remaining item. Her guilt isn't even slightly soothed until she spends a whole month's wages on diapers of every size. 

Levi drops an envelope on her desk a week later wordlessly, pissy as he retreats to his office. She immediately breaks into a cold sweat, and her hands shake as she opens it. It's an exquisite thank-you card. She breathes deep and forces herself to read the words in Petra's penmanship, letting the sincerity scorch her soul. Once again, Mikasa soon finds herself bent over a toilet. She doesn't rush back to work after that. In the privacy of the stall, she lets haunted tears roll down her cheeks until her walkie-talkie chirps that she's needed to answer an emergency call. 

That night, he goes back to her apartment, and she mercilessly fucks his brains out. 

::::

Mikasa meets Petra for the first time in the least ideal condition, if that's possible. 

Her period had been barely a day late when she took a pregnancy test and was horrified with the answer. She doesn't tell Levi, doesn't request time off. Wanting to keep this secret with her to the grave, she waits until she's scheduled off three consecutive days to get an abortion. 

She's never had one, but it's been described as a "slightly heavier than normal menses", so she figures that three days off is enough. 

She's wrong. 

The first day back at work, she's involved in a lengthy foot chase. She feels cramping, and then something inside her breaks her body in half. She's down suddenly, feeling as if a bullet has ripped through her abdomen. Vision swimming, stickiness flowing freely from between her legs, she radios her location and requests paramedics, and promptly blacks out. 

When she comes-to in the hospital, she's been given a transfusion because she hemorrhaged. She'll be kept for observation another forty-eight hours, and then given two weeks of leave. She looks forward to the time off-- the time away from Levi-- and does her best to enjoy the hospital stay. 

Petra comes by on the morning of Mikasa's anticipated discharge. She's bent over tying her boots when she hears a knock on the door, and expecting a nurse, issued an invite inside. 

Angelic as always, Petra invades the space as if dragging the whole of heaven behind her. There's a happy, chubby baby on her hip, reminding Mikasa that she should have cut the affair off six months ago. 

"Mrs. Ackerman," she says quietly. 

"Miss Ackerman," Petra laughs --whimsically-- at the coincidence in surname. "Such a small world! How are you feeling?"

"Better," Mikasa says plainly, because confessing her guilt and the explicit reasons behind this unexpected hospital stint is not what she wants to do. It's no secret now that she's here for pushing her body too hard too soon after a D&C, but it doesn't mean she has to divulge personal details. 

"Good!" The woman says cheerfully. "I wanted to check on you and let you know that if you need anything, to call me. I know how rough an abortion can be." 

Petra reaches in her back pocket and passes Mikasa a slip of paper with a phone number. 

"Thank you," she deadpans, hoping to keep the watering of her eyes at bay. She would have been successful had Petra not been so goddamn gentle and sweet. 

"Can I give you a hug?" Petra inquires. "I know you probably think you're alone, and I want you to know that you're not." 

Mikasa stares at her and nods dumbly. Petra sits the chubby little girl on the other chair in the room, and wraps her warm arms around the young officer's shoulders. Something in that wrecks Mikasa, and she clings to the wife of her lover through a flood of tears that taste like cherries. 

:::::

She's only just begun to feel like herself at the end of her two weeks of leave, and thankfully Levi has her saddled with paperwork and other mundane office duties when she goes back. 

He doesn't ask questions, and she doesn't offer answers, and in a month, he no longer looks at her with disdain. She doesn't let his judgement hurt her for making that decision, because she's drowning in guilt now anyway. 

She turns down his advances for a few more weeks, shivering in the phantom warmth of Petra's embrace every time he touches her. She invites him back to her place eventually, but all she feels is Petra. 

"I'm going to leave her," he says, their cooling bodies entwined. 

"No." She immediately pushes him away. "No!"

He tries to argue his unhappiness but Mikasa throws him out of her apartment, with the promise to never speak to him again. She threatens to go to his boss with their relationship if he leaves his wife. After he's gone, she unlocks that piece of her heart that bleeds, and lets the overwhelming guilt wash over her. She's so sorry, to Petra, to their children (and to the half-sibling she almost gave them). She would bare this alone, for all their sakes. She was strong enough to do that. 

Her eyes are still puffy at work the next night as she puts in her transfer request, and she blames it on allergies.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this is so dark. You'd think that nesting for a new baby would have me writing happy things.... Take a complimentary donut in your way out.


End file.
